Extract from The Silent Queen
Knowing that I was writing a book about them, female readers began sharing with me their stories of how they have been treated in the church.
“I was told that I could not read the Bible aloud to my husband because it’s the man’s job to teach.”
“My husband was abusive, but the church leaders said I should stay with him and forgive him.”
“I started a prayer group, and once it started growing, one of the elders thought it would be more fitting for him to take over since he was male.”
Others told me some of the horrendous lines they had heard from the pulpit.
“If a man looks at you with lust, it’s your fault.”
“You must ask your husband’s permission before cutting your hair.”
“You can’t lead—you’re a woman. Get back to the kitchen.”
“A woman needs to prepare and have a schedule for pleasing her husband, just as she does for making his meals.”
A woman who asked questions was rebuked for challenging the leadership team and told to “go back to making sandwiches.”
Hearing these stories, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all. I had no idea. I suspect most men don’t. We are oblivious to the systemic sexism that women deal with all the time.
Several women told me they were done with church. “I don’t want my daughters hearing this stuff,” said one, except she didn’t use the word stuff. I found it hard to disagree with her. I wouldn’t want my daughters hearing this stuff either.
God forgive us for the things we have done to his daughters. We have killed their dreams, extinguished their gifts, and diminished their humanity. Instead of preaching a different message from the world, we have perpetuated an ancient and evil bias. Instead of hearing what God says to us through women, we have told them to be quiet and return to the kitchen.
It’s time for change.
Source: Paul Ellis (2020), The Silent Queen: Why the Church Needs Women to Find their Voice, KingsPress: Beach Haven, New Zealand
“I was told that I could not read the Bible aloud to my husband because it’s the man’s job to teach.”
“My husband was abusive, but the church leaders said I should stay with him and forgive him.”
“I started a prayer group, and once it started growing, one of the elders thought it would be more fitting for him to take over since he was male.”
Others told me some of the horrendous lines they had heard from the pulpit.
“If a man looks at you with lust, it’s your fault.”
“You must ask your husband’s permission before cutting your hair.”
“You can’t lead—you’re a woman. Get back to the kitchen.”
“A woman needs to prepare and have a schedule for pleasing her husband, just as she does for making his meals.”
A woman who asked questions was rebuked for challenging the leadership team and told to “go back to making sandwiches.”
Hearing these stories, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all. I had no idea. I suspect most men don’t. We are oblivious to the systemic sexism that women deal with all the time.
Several women told me they were done with church. “I don’t want my daughters hearing this stuff,” said one, except she didn’t use the word stuff. I found it hard to disagree with her. I wouldn’t want my daughters hearing this stuff either.
God forgive us for the things we have done to his daughters. We have killed their dreams, extinguished their gifts, and diminished their humanity. Instead of preaching a different message from the world, we have perpetuated an ancient and evil bias. Instead of hearing what God says to us through women, we have told them to be quiet and return to the kitchen.
It’s time for change.
Source: Paul Ellis (2020), The Silent Queen: Why the Church Needs Women to Find their Voice, KingsPress: Beach Haven, New Zealand